The Elders Speak
Elders are everywhere and their numbers are growing worldwide. You see them on 
the streets, waiting for buses, in stores and banks. All of them were
born in the 1900's. They witnessed horrific wars and the evil one human
can inflict upon another in the name of religion, nation, or culture.
Yet, they persevered and in many cases, thrived. Surely they have
something to say - perhaps some words of wisdom about their longevity,
what they'd experienced in life, or advice to the younger generations of
the 21st century.
the streets, waiting for buses, in stores and banks. All of them were
born in the 1900's. They witnessed horrific wars and the evil one human
can inflict upon another in the name of religion, nation, or culture.
Yet, they persevered and in many cases, thrived. Surely they have
something to say - perhaps some words of wisdom about their longevity,
what they'd experienced in life, or advice to the younger generations of
the 21st century.
Because
my travels took me to various places this year, I asked the Elders I
met on these trips the same two questions. What's the most important
thing you learned in your lifetime? What's the one message you would
leave for your grandchildren? Sensing that these were important
questions and should be answered properly, all of them took time to
think before answering.Their answers were unique, varied and
compelling. These Elders stood out not just in their comments but in
their attitudes about life. The oldest was 99, the youngest 78.
Buddy, a Korean war veteran walks the beach at dawn most weekends. His metal 
detector which looks like an extension of his arm distinguishes a
unique tone when gold or silver is discovered under the sands. With
headphones tuned to the sounds, he shared stories of his many finds.
His answers to my questions were short and concise. In answer to the
first his eyes got a faraway look. Then he said, "Too many guys died in
Korea." In answer to the second: "Wars change nothing. We don't
belong there!" Realizing that the scars of that war still held Buddy,
evidenced by the Korean War Vet baseball cap he wore, I changed the
subject and asked him what he thought about when he walked the beach.
He said, "Nothing. My mind is calm and clear." And then he went on
down the beach listening for the high pitched hum of gold.
detector which looks like an extension of his arm distinguishes a
unique tone when gold or silver is discovered under the sands. With
headphones tuned to the sounds, he shared stories of his many finds.
His answers to my questions were short and concise. In answer to the
first his eyes got a faraway look. Then he said, "Too many guys died in
Korea." In answer to the second: "Wars change nothing. We don't
belong there!" Realizing that the scars of that war still held Buddy,
evidenced by the Korean War Vet baseball cap he wore, I changed the
subject and asked him what he thought about when he walked the beach.
He said, "Nothing. My mind is calm and clear." And then he went on
down the beach listening for the high pitched hum of gold.
Gladys,
the oldest at 99 and last of several siblings grew up in the mountains
of Tennessee. She's hard of hearing now but every day she exercises her
swollen legs and ankles by pushing her tennis-ball covered walker
around the block. If you say "Good morning, Gladys" she responds, "I'm
fine." If you ask her "What time is it" she responds "I'm fine." So
her answers, simpler than Buddy's, were surprising and humorous. She
said of the first question, "Get your hair done every week." And of the
second, "Gotta keep moving." She does.
Bob, in his mid-eighties, was in great shape. Walking briskly across a trail in 
southern Utah he was delighted to engage in conversation. He talked
about his Mormon faith and of the blessings and bounty it had brought to
him and his wife. He proudly revealed he had eight children, forty
grandchildren, and twelve great-grandchildren.
I said, "Bob, I'd like to ask you a question or two." Before I could
actually phrase the questions he answered with such confidence that I
knew he'd given it thought long before our conversation. He said,
"Three things. Be charitable. Always have a good attitude. And last,
believe in something greater than yourself." Then he repeated, "Don't
forget charity. It all starts there and that's due to God's blessings."
southern Utah he was delighted to engage in conversation. He talked
about his Mormon faith and of the blessings and bounty it had brought to
him and his wife. He proudly revealed he had eight children, forty
grandchildren, and twelve great-grandchildren.
I said, "Bob, I'd like to ask you a question or two." Before I could
actually phrase the questions he answered with such confidence that I
knew he'd given it thought long before our conversation. He said,
"Three things. Be charitable. Always have a good attitude. And last,
believe in something greater than yourself." Then he repeated, "Don't
forget charity. It all starts there and that's due to God's blessings."
Betty
is the 90 year old last surviving Elder matriarch of four generations.
Her blue eyes sparkle when she tells stories, some of which are
punctuated with an infectious laugh. She does the daily newspaper
crossword, her record to completion, mid-morning. "Keeps the mind sharp" she tells me. The
greatest thing in her life was her three children, though she grew sad
recounting the story of her stillborn first son. I asked her if she
believed in the afterlife. She said a few months after her husband died
she saw him sitting in his chair. He called out her name. I repeated
the question about the afterlife, but she only replied, "I don't know." When I switched 
to
the last question, what message would you leave for your grandchildren,
she got very serious so I expected something profound. Instead, she
put her head back into the sun's rays and said, "Laugh often - even if you have to laugh at yourself." Then she bubbled in laughter.
A
Buddhist loving kindness mantra goes like this: May all beings be
well. May all beings be happy. May all beings find peace. The simple
messages of the Elders to future generations incorporates all those
attributes. And, they could be made a part of any spiritual practice.
Be well by getting your hair done (Gladys) and having a good attitude
(Bob.) Be happy by doing something enjoyable (Buddy's treasure hunting
on the beach) and laughing (Betty.)
And
last, finding peace. Each of these Elders had a message for that. Bob
said believe in a higher power and give to charity. Betty said she
didn't know when asked about the afterlife though I could tell she
thought of it often. Buddy said we should avoid war. And Gladys summed
it up well by saying we should keep moving. For movement is the sound
of lives being lived in happiness, wellness and peace!
Jo Mooy - September 2014
