There are marvelous benefits of the digital world, like instantaneous communication
and information at the finger-tips. But the fast-paced usage of smart
devices has caused a huge gap in our ability to be aware of others. As
individuals become addicted to devices which foster self-absorbing
behavior, good manners and etiquette have gone by the wayside.
We've all seen the effects of
poor manners. Instead of making eye contact with others, heads are
bowed over a hand-held devices. In restaurants it's more important to
check emails and texts than it is to interact with those you came to
dine with. If a car is going slow or weaving in your lane it's a pretty
good bet the driver is texting or reading emails. On Easter Sunday I
watched a little girl about 3 years of age drawing pictures on a
sidewalk. She eagerly tried to get her father's attention to see her
creation. But he was too busy talking on a cell phone while
simultaneously tapping on his Ipad. A treasured moment of encouragement
with a little girl lost forever.
But sadly, the deterioration of manners goes beyond the usage of
electronic devices. It extends to those who should "know better" and
who disappoint us by disregarding common courtesy. For example, how
often is a meaningful 'thank-you' or a few well-chosen words of
appreciation extended to the volunteers who serve?
How often is gratitude part of the teaching of an organization? Or respect and good manners part of the practices of those on a consciousness raising path?
How often is gratitude part of the teaching of an organization? Or respect and good manners part of the practices of those on a consciousness raising path?
There's a generation of people
alive who were brought up to respect others, hold the door open for
another person, give up a seat to their elders, and to say please and
thank you. Through that courteous behavior, those individuals put the
needs of others ahead of their own. That mindfulness displays a much
higher level of consciousness. It's a behavior which also serves as a
guide to others. And it's what prompted this article.
Good manners IS a spiritual practice! Acts of kindness or respect offered to another
lifts personal behavior to a higher plane of understanding and expands
universal connection. It creates genuine human connections, the
recognition of which touches and changes the character of the person.
The individuals who behave in this manner generally follow an
enlightened lifestyle. Kindness is a hallmark of their lives. They
take the high road in disputes, and are more likely to treat others as
they would like to be treated.
There's a meditation practice called Mindfulness. It directly
influences the human experience and determines how we interact with
others. In the exacting practice of Mindfulness, it is impossible to be
so self-absorbed that we disregard others. Instead, you become present
to what is occurring around you and sensitive to the stories happening
in the moment. You become an active part of the reality that is
unfolding in front of you instead of the artificial reality playing out
on a digital screen or in one's imagination. Freed from electronic
habits or ungracious behavior you can more easily respond to events as
they unfold in the present. Thus Mindfulness becomes a beneficial
spiritual practice for developing good manners and conduct.
But remembering to do the practice is the hardest part. Human
selfishness causes us to be distracted or to become preoccupied with
unimportant interruptions. It will derail the best intentions and cause
an easy return to the state of carelessness. Human Self-Mastery on
the other hand suggests that Mindfulness can be developed as a permanent
state. The more consciously mindful one is of other people, the more
that awareness is woven into the habitual fabric of an individual.
Conscious Mindfulness can be
started with small acts of kindness or respect for another. It can
begin by focusing the attention on someone other than yourself. When
you're with them, let your full attention be on nothing else but them.
When in the car, be mindful and aware of every other car around you. If
someone has extended themselves on your behalf, please take the time to
offer a meaningful 'thank you.' Above all, be courteous and
respectful. It is a responsibility and a duty we accept for it is the
price we must pay on this journey towards Self-Mastery and
enlightenment.
Remember, the best gift we can
bestow on someone is the gift of ourselves - our time, our interest, and
our full attention. The results of that gift will speak spiritual
volumes.
Jo Mooy - May 2013