I
never gave the word "Yes" much thought before. It was simply an
affirmative reply to a question or the opposite of "No." And surely,
"No" is more frequently the word of choice. When uttered, a great deal
of energy, cajoling and arm-twisting is
expended to get from the negative exclamation back to the positive.
Consider a twelve year old who wants to go to a rock concert which the
parents do not feel is appropriate.
Then
one day a highly attuned spiritual teacher suggested using "Yes" as a
metaphysical practice. He said the next time you're confronted by a
person whose opinions are vastly different from your own, and who wishes
to debate, take a stand. Agree with whatever is presented to you. No
matter what is presented! If someone hands you a white sheet of paper
and says it's black, agree with them. If your views are well thought
out, serve you well, and you're firm in the conviction you hold there is
no harm in saying to the other person, "Yes, you are right!"
When
asked why this practice was so important he said it teaches an
individual how to control the ego! Furthermore one will engage
neutrally with all impassioned
personalities, thereby defusing the situation. And finally, one gains Buddha-like mastery over unpleasant or uncomfortable situations. So I decided to try it the next time a confrontation loomed. It wasn't long in coming!
personalities, thereby defusing the situation. And finally, one gains Buddha-like mastery over unpleasant or uncomfortable situations. So I decided to try it the next time a confrontation loomed. It wasn't long in coming!
A
particularly volatile individual contacted me by phone one day. In her
usual aggressive and argumentative manner I mentally prepared for the
coming clash. As her long held angers surfaced and her accusations
engulfed me, the words of my spiritual teacher gently eased into my
consciousness. Instead of responding in kind which was the normal way
our conversations usually unfolded, I said nothing and just listened.
The force of her rage continued unabated. Finally she noticed I'd said
nothing for over twenty minutes. Seemingly exhausted from the one-sided
argument, she asked if I had anything to say. I simply replied, "Yes,
you're right!"
The
power of those words apparently stopped her in her tracks because all
she could sputter out was, "What do you mean?" I again responded, "Yes
you're right!" It was not what she expected. With no where else to
turn, and no opposing argument coming back, the tirade soon subsided and
a more pleasant conversation eventually emerged between us.
The word "Yes" only contains three letters, but when spoken, the power of its meaning can
change the world. In that confrontation I was to learn that "Yes"
acknowledges hurts, angers, and untenable positions; that "Yes" eases
the lonesomeness that causes others to lash out; and that "Yes" disarms
opponents and diffuses angry situations. I still had my own opinions
about everything that she said. But by not engaging in the
confrontation I was suddenly detached from its outcome. No longer
concerned with being right, the pesky ego took a back seat and I was
finally free of that endless argumentative cycle.
In the
space created by two saying "Yes" a quantum bubble is formed. From
that place expectations can soar and anything is possible. Even world
peace is attainable! Just say, "Yes, you're right!"
Jo Mooy - November 2012